The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
George Bernard Shaw, Maxims for Revolutionists
“Why Me, Why Not?”
My eighth grade English teacher told us we could write about anything, as long as we made that phrase the fulcrum of our essay. We were all obligated to write a persuasive essay and present it in front of the class, and if we wanted to be extra ballsy, we could also enter our grand discourse in the speech competition down at city hall.
At the time, I was painfully shy and hated class participation so when I think back on what motivated me to enter the competition, I know it could have only been because of the topic. Proving to the world that impossible things can be done? Finally. Something I was passionate about.
At fourteen, my main ambition in life was to become a professional dancer. The onslaught of cautionary tales about low salaries, instability, and high competition, were lost on me. I figured people always thought the worst, and I had no doubt that it was absolutely possible. And so, when I stepped up to the podium, I read my title with relaxed belief, “Why Me, Why Not? Why Can’t I Become The Next Broadway Star?”
Well, I haven’t become a Broadway star (yet), but I did come in second place, and I’m still out here preaching to the choir about going for it in life.
Thank god for my impractical nature. Every time, I trusted my instinct to be unreasonable by societal standards, it lead me closer to where I wanted to be.
The thought of living in Wisconsin and getting a nice paycheck for doing absolutely mundane work made me feel prematurely depressed. So I didn’t do it. I loved New York, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what it might be like to live abroad and travel while I was young. So I went for it. Working in an office made me feel like a puppet on a string doing things I didn’t care about because other people told me to. So I quit.
If you can relate to any of the above – whether you have an instinct to pursue something that doesn’t make sense or you feel like you’re living a condensed version of your life – here are some ways to check in with yourself and summon the courage to be more unreasonable.
What do you believe and why?
If you’re feeling bummed about your current situation or you just feel unfulfilled in general, it’s probably high time to examine the stories you’re telling yourself about what’s possible in life. Often we get stuck in a mental rut that doesn’t quite feel right to us, but since we’ve been so exposed to that way of thinking, we simply accept it.
Examine your beliefs and the feelings they conjure up in you and then question the origins of these beliefs. Did everyone in your family study medicine and tell you that wanting to do anything remotely artistic was not only a waste of talent but also a recipe for economic doom? Did you grow up thinking that money doesn’t grow on trees? That you have to work in an office every day for 40+ hours a week in order to get by? That the harder and longer you work the more money you’ll make?
Once you take a step back and look at the stories that are stuck in your head about “the right way to live,” they just might start sounding a little ridiculous to you. This is the first step to loosening the nuts and bolts of your ingrained thought patterns so that you can shake them and replace them with beliefs that suit you and serve you.
What Do You Want to Believe?
You get in life what you have the courage to ask for. If you think you deserve to earn $40,000 a year and work 40 hours a week in an office, then that’s probably all you’re going to reach for. Sure, you may push yourself to get that promotion or pay raise. Maybe start a little side hustle or hobby. But you’ll never push yourself too far beyond this little world that you’ve imagined for yourself.
If you think it’s possible to work 20 hours a week from anywhere in the world and rake in $200,000 a year, then you open up the floodgates to making it happen. You have to change your mind before you can change your circumstances, and you are the only one who gets to decide what’s possible.
I personally don’t believe in signing up for crap you don’t like doing just because it’s safe, practical, secure, has good benefits, or looks great on paper. I believe that life should be fun, and that there aren’t really any set rules. You get to write them. Change the script if you don’t like it. Otherwise you’ll end up playing roles that are so not right for you.
Unreasonable Could Lead To Extraordinary
But being reasonable probably won’t. What if Lin-Manuel Miranda had said to himself, “Shit, man, I kind of feel like I could write a historical play about Alexander Hamilton, but to make it fun, all of the characters are gonna rap like Kendrick Lamar.” And as soon as he shared his glorious idea with someone, they were like, “Dude that’s stupid. You can’t mix American history with modern hip hop. No one would go see that.” And then Lin was all, “You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Or what if Tom Hanks had been like, “Acting would be kind of cool but it’s too impractical to really go for it. I should just play it safe, become a CPA, and help people with their tax returns.”
Think of how much the world needs people who think differently and aren’t afraid to risk looking foolish in order to produce an extraordinary result. No one benefits from you playing small in this world. You might as well make your 14-year-old self proud, and be brave with your life.
Either Way It’s Risky
The biggest reason why I had the balls to leave New York and move overseas alone, was because I felt like the only thing worse than going for it and failing, was never going for it and wondering what could have happened.
If you’re living a life that just feels comfortable but not exciting, it’s just as risky to stay put as it is to try to change your circumstances. You only get one life and the time you spend doing things you find unpleasant is non-refundable.
Seriously.
If you go into the office and just count down the hours until lunch, and then after lunch count down the hours until you can go home, that’s literally the equivalent of wishing your life away. Unsubscribe from that life.
I think it’s just as risky to say, “I just have to do this job for two more years and then I can quit and go travel or move to California or start my own business,” as it is to just freakin’ start your own business already. Maybe even more so because your future is never guaranteed, and putting off doing what you really want to do is essentially gambling with time.
You may be fine in two years and your life may look the same or you may not be fine and your life may be totally different. It’s a risk to assume that you have all the time in the world because all that you really have is now. This moment. Right here.
I hope these nuggets of wisdom somehow help you summon up the courage to dream a little bigger and let yourself be more “unreasonable,” because at the end of the day, the people who change the world are the ones who step off the comfortable path.
Now if you need me, I’ll be over here in Italy, being unapologetically impractical with my life. Ironically, I’m still writing persuasive essays about why should you go for it. Because hey. Why you? Why not?
